from a local news report…
Police were called last night to investigate a disturbance at the end of Deep Woods Lane though police spokesperson wouldn’t confirm if the call came from the Asylum. Nearby residents, who requested their names withheld, stated they heard screams soon after the Night Ambulance made its usual late delivery.
The last reported incident involving the Night Ambulance was in 2006 after the Annual Spring Dance when a local teen ran a stop sign in an effort to make her curfew. The Night Ambulance was cleared of all responsibility.
One witness, who would speak only through counsel and on condition of anonymity, alleged that the Ambulance attendants had been unable to relieve a patient of a donkey’s hide. The Asylum has publicly acknowledged that patients are not allowed personal items during the intake process. The witness said the patient was surprisingly strong for her size.
Police also further investigated a previously dismissed report of a missing donkey. A local farmer had reported a lost or stolen donkey yesterday morning. This reporter obtained notes from the farmer’s statement in which the farmer claimed the donkey was last seen in the company of a fairy. The farmer has a series of arrests for drunkenness and a known reputation for fabrications in pursuit of profits.
The Asylum, citing standard operating procedure, refuses to comment. The police ended all investigations connected to either incident. The police spokesperson assures all residents that the public is not at risk.