Everything happens for a reason?

bunnies on strings

People often tell me everything happens for a reason. I suspect that trapped in a torture chamber I wouldn’t agree.

Does this publishing thing keep not working out because it is meant to be? Perhaps. It is starting to feel that way.

Maybe that’s what happens in a torture chamber–you start to think you deserve to be there and maybe you do.

But then again, I’m not in my best mood so am leaning toward dark and ridiculous thoughts.

In the summer an agent asked for some pages. I sent them. The pages got lost. I took the opportunity to polish the pages yet again and then sent them off that second time. Those pages got lost. It is unclear if either time they ever reached their destination. But since I’m reasonably good at copying down an address and writing my return address as well, it is hard to believe that twice the pages got lost in the mail. But maybe they did.

In any case, the whole thing felt not-meant-to-be. Those pages were lost for a reason.

And I can’t spend more money on ink, paper, and postage.

For the time being I may focus on hanging bunnies from strings.

*

And you? Do you believe everything happens for a reason?

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4 responses to “Everything happens for a reason?

  1. I’ve had submissions lost too, and it does make you wonder. But it’s also true that the entire publishing industry is in turmoil, and many authors are complaining about the massive cluster fucks happening inside publishing houses and literary agencies. I’ve dealt with some incredibly unprofessional agencies, but they think they have you by the short and curlies because they think as an author you’re willing to take whatever shit they hand out.

    Don’t lose hope. Just focus on the writing. Nowadays there are a lot more options for writers. Hence, the reason I took the indie route. It’s not for everyone, but it sure beats dealing with morons.

    Wow, that rant came out of nowhere. What was your question?

    • Well, I don’t really believe this agent is lying or in any way meaning anything that might be construed as negative. And I know that this agent has certain issues going on that are reasonable reasons for not noticing/not remembering/not keeping track of my manuscript–assuming the page really got there and it wasn’t my fault all along. After all, this agent doesn’t know me and doesn’t owe me anything in the grand scheme of life. Fair enough. It is just that I want an agent who reads those first fews pages, asks for more pages, and then can’t wait to read them. Assuming the agent got the pages, then the pages were received and then put in a pile of stuff to get to when there was time.

      It isn’t like the agent sent me an email saying hey-you-said-you-sent-the-pages-but-I-haven’t-gotten-them. And I want an agent enthusiastic enough to send me that kind of email. So whether the agent got the pages or not, clearly the enthusiasm wasn’t there.

      Sigh.

      You’re brave for going the indie route. That isn’t what I want right now, but I don’t rule it out in the future. We’ll see. Like you said, the industry is changing.

  2. “Do you believe everything happens for a reason?”
    Mostly, yes. I was thinking about this just this morning. Some people have a goal in mind, work against all odds to achieve that goal, and then it is achieved. It’s never worked out this way for me. Usually when I release my goals, good things start rolling in, yet I’ve been conditioned (and haven’t we all) that I’m in control of my destiny, and the reason I fail is because I don’t stick it out long enough. But I just can’t believe that. I’m an extremely tenacious person. I stick it out when all signs point against it.

    These other people, the ones who have a goal and stick it out to the end…I think those people adjust their goals as they go along, and possibly they pick the right goals to begin with. And some of us must let go and let the river take us where it will.

    I don’t know. These are incomplete thoughts. Sorry about the agent.

    • The more I think about it, the more vague the statement sounds anyway. What is a reason? Does this mean we know the reason and will agree with it? Now that I’ve thought about it, I think people use the expression everything-happens-for-a-reason to either justify their success or to explain away failure or painful things. Most people can hardly ever explain what the reason is when they say it.

      The expression often seems followed by the expression God-moves-in-mysterious-ways.

      So everything happens for a reason but don’t ask me to explain what the reason is.

      Sometimes I think the reason is–life is random. That’s it.

      Then this leads me to wonder–was the loss of my pages two times meant to happen to show me this wasn’t the right agent for me? Or have I failed by letting these two losses make me give up with this agent. Should I have proven my tenacity by sending the pages again?

      I’ll never know.

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